A Touch of Rain

Out of sync

I decided to stay in Cape Verde for the week instead of going home early. I wrote a nice big list of pros and cons (don't we love those) for staying or going home and, ultimately, I realised I wouldn't necessarily be much happier at home and I'd still be doing very little so if… Continue reading Out of sync

A Touch of Rain

Flexible Planning

T-minus 24 hours until my qualification leave begins! (Well 24 hours if I leave work at 5pm tomorrow but my supervisor knows it’s my last day so fingers crossed he’ll let me run away as soon as it is professionally acceptable to do so). It still hasn’t fully hit me that I’m going to be… Continue reading Flexible Planning

A Touch of Rain

Hidden

You say you don't like to tell me you love me too often, so that when you do, it means 'more'. Those hidden words would mean a lot to me, if I were to hear them a little more often. You say I'm perfect the way I am but I feel as though you keep… Continue reading Hidden

A Touch of Rain

Just a touch of magic…

It is impossible to visit Disneyland and not feel happiness. I challenge you to find someone who has entered one of the parks and not enjoyed it one bit...but even if you do find someone,or you are in fact someone who doesn't like Disneyland, then that's perfectly acceptable. Each to their own! My boyfriend and… Continue reading Just a touch of magic…

Thunder and Lightning

Restless Rest

I had a week off work last week for no reason other than I had holiday to use and figured that back in March, a random week off in June would work well. I struggled that week more than I ever thought I would. Between all the hospital appointments I had scheduled and the inevitable… Continue reading Restless Rest

A Touch of Rain

Number Crunching

I did that thing I wasn't supposed to do. I did it even though I knew it wasn't going to do me any good. I stepped on the scales and that pain I knew would arrive came rushing, burning through every part of my body. I stood there, simply hurting. 8 weeks into recovery and… Continue reading Number Crunching

A Touch of Rain

Internal Criticisms

The big, dreaded, over-thought-about-before, phone call happened on Thursday. It was supposed to be Tuesday but got switched last minute. That in itself freaked me out for a good 12 hours... But deep breaths and I got there. I was so incredibly nervous to hear my old therapist's voice as I sat on my bed… Continue reading Internal Criticisms

A Touch of Rain

Just say this or that

I slipped up and he told me he was 'frustrated'. Since admitting my relapse the other week I've pretty much put every practical step into motion that you can think of. I moved into his for the week so I could have that really close support (supervision too). We sat and made a meal plan,… Continue reading Just say this or that

A Touch of Rain

Back to Basics

  Apologies as there may be some triggering thoughts here. So, I thought I was doing okay and there were times I thought I was fine. Or at least the ‘Demon’ told me I was okay. Convinced me I didn’t need help. That there wasn’t an issue because what I was doing was keeping me… Continue reading Back to Basics

A Touch of Rain, Sunny Days

Hello 2018

I've not really been one for New Year's Resolutions. I've always found the 'New Year, New Me' to be slightly superficial but major congrats to anyone who fully commits to their resolutions! However, I do like to reflect and make goals.  (Same thing, I know!!) I was at a party again for NYE, the same… Continue reading Hello 2018