A Touch of Rain

Out of sync

I decided to stay in Cape Verde for the week instead of going home early. I wrote a nice big list of pros and cons (don't we love those) for staying or going home and, ultimately, I realised I wouldn't necessarily be much happier at home and I'd still be doing very little so if… Continue reading Out of sync

A Touch of Rain

Hidden

You say you don't like to tell me you love me too often, so that when you do, it means 'more'. Those hidden words would mean a lot to me, if I were to hear them a little more often. You say I'm perfect the way I am but I feel as though you keep… Continue reading Hidden

Thunder and Lightning

Unresolved

Please don't ask me to talk about my eating disorder if you're going to end the conversation as soon as I tell you what's going on. Please don't ask me to open up when I say I don't want to, but you decide I should, and then leave me with these thoughts festering in my brain.… Continue reading Unresolved

A Touch of Rain

Near-Exhaustion

The pain cuts deep. It stings and it burns and I simply can't hold back the tears that fall. Taken back to hospital just when I thought I was okay. Just like always, the hope comes crashing down, once relaxed but back on guard. Always seem to be falling. Always dragged backwards against my will.… Continue reading Near-Exhaustion

A Touch of Rain

Welcome Home 

I've had this blank page staring back at me the past few days. Want to write, know that I do, but about what? I don't know. I just don't know. My head is spinning with a thousand questions, so much so I won't allow myself to even take a step back and appreciate how well… Continue reading Welcome Home 

A Touch of Rain

Eleven Days

It's been eleven days since you broke up with me for approximately 30 minutes. Eleven days since you spent an entire day changing your mind and messing with mine in the process. Eleven days since you planted the worlds biggest mind fuck into my head and not a single day out of those eleven has… Continue reading Eleven Days

A Touch of Rain

Raindrops

The rain was so heavy last night. It just endlessly poured and poured. It drenched me through, past skin and bones but I wasn't ready to go home. The voice at the other end of the phone cracked a feeble excuse of 'hello'. I could hear her tears begin to fall before I could say my… Continue reading Raindrops

A Touch of Rain

Outlines

  My laughter would fill me with colour, and my smile would make me shine. I would smile through the darkness, and I'd laugh through the pain but one day, I looked up and saw grey. I was slipping into the darkness, and all my colours were being drained away, and yet...just yet, nobody noticed me fade. I… Continue reading Outlines

A Touch of Rain, Thunder and Lightning

Wise Words

Words are powerful. They can crush a heart or heal it. They can shame a soul or liberate it. They can shatter dreams or energise them. They can obstruct connection or invite it. They can create defences or melt them. We have to use words wisely.  My motivation to write can come from a variety of sources… Continue reading Wise Words

A Touch of Rain

Parenting the Parents

  16 hours. 960 minutes. 57600 seconds is all it took for him to fuck up. Yet again. As always. Once more the man messed up. His actions have hurt me more than ever before. I hate how much he's hurt my entire family. I resent the pressure I have had to cope with to hold… Continue reading Parenting the Parents