I think I am in "recovery". After suffering from bulimia with anorexic behaviours I now find myself 18 months purge-free. During those 18 months I found myself becoming less and less scared of the fear foods and I started to deal with triggering situations better every time. I found myself re-educating a love for myself… Continue reading The Recovery Body
The pain cuts deep. It stings and it burns and I simply can't hold back the tears that fall. Taken back to hospital just when I thought I was okay. Just like always, the hope comes crashing down, once relaxed but back on guard. Always seem to be falling. Always dragged backwards against my will.… Continue reading Near-Exhaustion
It's been eleven days since you broke up with me for approximately 30 minutes. Eleven days since you spent an entire day changing your mind and messing with mine in the process. Eleven days since you planted the worlds biggest mind fuck into my head and not a single day out of those eleven has… Continue reading Eleven Days
My laughter would fill me with colour, and my smile would make me shine. I would smile through the darkness, and I'd laugh through the pain but one day, I looked up and saw grey. I was slipping into the darkness, and all my colours were being drained away, and yet...just yet, nobody noticed me fade. I… Continue reading Outlines
I think I lost a best friend today. Someone who became an unexpected best friend and yet potentially one of the best and all I've learnt is that our friendship was a lie. Happy Valentine's Day Len! Another bad one for the storybook. Genuinely cannot say I've had a good Valentine's Day ever. We would… Continue reading V-Day-D-Day
16 hours. 960 minutes. 57600 seconds is all it took for him to fuck up. Yet again. As always. Once more the man messed up. His actions have hurt me more than ever before. I hate how much he's hurt my entire family. I resent the pressure I have had to cope with to hold… Continue reading Parenting the Parents
Right now I am a mixture of very happy and very sad and I’m trying so very hard to figure it all out. I’m trying to figure out all these feelings and emotions and words and thoughts and I can’t work out what they all mean. Everything I feel lately seems to be a contradiction… Continue reading ‘Time Heals’, That’s a lie.
She was broken but never hopeless. Alone but never lonely. Her eyes reflected pain but projected courage. She was a beautiful paradox I really like that quote and feel like I can massively relate to it. It always feels weird to have people say things to me like, 'I love how confident you are, you… Continue reading A Beautiful Paradox