A Touch of Rain

Surgery in Recovery

My body has changed a lot the last year. My body actually looks the smallest it's looked since I was really ill with bulimia. and I don't fully know how I'm supposed to feel about that. And, the thing is, I'm happy that my body is smaller. I'm happy that I've changed healthily. But I… Continue reading Surgery in Recovery

A Touch of Rain

A state of relapse

I've had a relapse of sorts and it's taken me nearly 8 months to realise. That doesn't necessarily mean I've been in a constant full blown relapse that entire time but the warning signs were creeping back and I was simply choosing to ignore them. In June last year, 3 months into the pandemic, I… Continue reading A state of relapse

A Touch of Rain

The Recovery Body

I think I am in "recovery". After suffering from bulimia with anorexic behaviours I now find myself 18 months purge-free. During those 18 months I found myself becoming less and less scared of the fear foods and I started to deal with triggering situations better every time. I found myself re-educating a love for myself… Continue reading The Recovery Body

A Touch of Rain

A Running Buzz

I did something completely off the bat last week. Something I'm so surprised that I did but something that I'm so incredibly pleased with myself about. I went for a run which ended up being my first ever 10k run. What's more, I enjoyed it. I came back home with such a buzz. Had I… Continue reading A Running Buzz

A Touch of Rain, Sunny Days

Bonfires and Brownies

Time flies and a lot changes as each second passes by. 12 months ago I had bought tickets to a Bonfire and Fireworks display at Battersea Park and, me being me, I was really excited. But me, also being me, I ended up in hospital with a kidney stone that left me bedridden and in… Continue reading Bonfires and Brownies

A Touch of Rain

Just Because

Just because you see the smile doesn't mean there isn't anything hurting behind my eyes. Just because you see the food being eaten doesn't mean there isn't any fear behind every mouthful that I swallow. I'm not pretending to be okay. I'm fighting to be okay. And each day is getting better...I think so, anyway. In fact,… Continue reading Just Because

Sunny Days, Uncategorized

A Beautiful Paradox

  She was broken but never hopeless. Alone but never lonely. Her eyes reflected pain but projected courage. She was a beautiful paradox I really like that quote and feel like I can massively relate to it. It always feels weird to have people say things to me like, 'I love how confident you are, you… Continue reading A Beautiful Paradox

A Touch of Rain

Working It Out

Today's been a bad day but on the same hand one of my better ones. It's so contradictory, I know but I'm pleased with where I am right now in this very moment. As usual my day started off with the standard family stress but today I couldn't take it anymore. I'm in the middle… Continue reading Working It Out