A Touch of Rain

12 June

And all of a sudden it's as though I can breathe again. Pressure lifted. Wrongful commitments gone. Myself first. Once and for all. Finally. Relief flows through the strength of saying no. Self-love for my own worth driving me forward. Not looking back. Because I'm happier with it staying behind. Moving on, weight free. Content… Continue reading 12 June

A Touch of Rain

30 April

I can confirm the days of recovery get better but I sometimes wonder just how better I am. Although the unhealthy physical habits of bingeing, purging, over-exercising, restriction etc. are gone the mental side can scream so loud. I want to enjoy food the way most people do. To experience meals without the cries of… Continue reading 30 April

A Touch of Rain

3 April

My body has changed a lot the last year. My body actually looks the smallest it's looked since I was really ill with bulimia. and I don't fully know how I'm supposed to feel about that. And, the thing is, I'm happy that my body is smaller. I'm happy that I've changed healthily. But I… Continue reading 3 April

A Touch of Rain

26 February

Why do I always question myself? Questioning why I question myself...seems a decent summary of the post that's about to follow. A little while ago I was at the GP surgery. There was some big delay and mishap with their systems so I was sat in her office whilst she went to print out some… Continue reading 26 February

A Touch of Rain

5 February

I've had a relapse of sorts and it's taken me nearly 8 months to realise. That doesn't necessarily mean I've been in a constant full blown relapse that entire time but the warning signs were creeping back and I was simply choosing to ignore them. In June last year, 3 months into the pandemic, I… Continue reading 5 February

A Touch of Rain

15 January

2 weeks into the New Year and I'm pretty sure I don't like resolutions that much. Well the crap ones anyway... For years I've hated that the most popular New Years resolution is usually along the lines of having something to do with losing weight. As a child and young adult I always felt the… Continue reading 15 January

A Touch of Rain

20 September

I'm having a weekend full of weird and unexpected highs and lows. I had planned to write a different post this weekend (about an opportunity I had to speak about my ED to a swimming team) but that's had to be postponed to allow me to process some triggers I've come across the past 48… Continue reading 20 September

A Touch of Rain

Building a bridge

I don't know when my mind changed. I can tell you the day I decided to reach out but I can't pin point when that switch was turned on in my head. I have written about my family problems before but I feel I need to recap for myself. I am 28. My dad started… Continue reading Building a bridge

A Touch of Rain

The Recovery Body

I think I am in "recovery". After suffering from bulimia with anorexic behaviours I now find myself 18 months purge-free. During those 18 months I found myself becoming less and less scared of the fear foods and I started to deal with triggering situations better every time. I found myself re-educating a love for myself… Continue reading The Recovery Body

A Touch of Rain

Out of sync

I decided to stay in Cape Verde for the week instead of going home early. I wrote a nice big list of pros and cons (don't we love those) for staying or going home and, ultimately, I realised I wouldn't necessarily be much happier at home and I'd still be doing very little so if… Continue reading Out of sync