A Touch of Rain

Unexpected triggers

I'm having a weekend full of weird and unexpected highs and lows. I had planned to write a different post this weekend (about an opportunity I had to speak about my ED to a swimming team) but that's had to be postponed to allow me to process some triggers I've come across the past 48… Continue reading Unexpected triggers

A Touch of Rain

Building a bridge

I don't know when my mind changed. I can tell you the day I decided to reach out but I can't pin point when that switch was turned on in my head. I have written about my family problems before but I feel I need to recap for myself. I am 28. My dad started… Continue reading Building a bridge

A Touch of Rain

The Recovery Body

I think I am in "recovery". After suffering from bulimia with anorexic behaviours I now find myself 18 months purge-free. During those 18 months I found myself becoming less and less scared of the fear foods and I started to deal with triggering situations better every time. I found myself re-educating a love for myself… Continue reading The Recovery Body

A Touch of Rain

Out of sync

I decided to stay in Cape Verde for the week instead of going home early. I wrote a nice big list of pros and cons (don't we love those) for staying or going home and, ultimately, I realised I wouldn't necessarily be much happier at home and I'd still be doing very little so if… Continue reading Out of sync

A Touch of Rain

Robbed

My purse was stolen. Within a 12 hour window from me entering my hostel dorm at 7:30 pm to waking up at 7 am it was stolen. The hostel did nothing. They stared blankly at me when I asked what the protocol was for reporting a theft. They said they had none and were confused… Continue reading Robbed

A Touch of Rain

Travel Freedom

Two weeks of qualification leave over. Two out of those exciting yet scary six weeks done and dusted. Exciting because it’s a holiday to celebrate my qualification as a solicitor and scary because of the challenge it is for my ED. Even before I fully developed bulimia I displayed disordered behaviours which I managed to… Continue reading Travel Freedom

A Touch of Rain

Flexible Planning

T-minus 24 hours until my qualification leave begins! (Well 24 hours if I leave work at 5pm tomorrow but my supervisor knows it’s my last day so fingers crossed he’ll let me run away as soon as it is professionally acceptable to do so). It still hasn’t fully hit me that I’m going to be… Continue reading Flexible Planning

Sunny Days

Avoiding Self-Sabotage

It's a full on summer. That's for sure. I'm now seven months into what I feel is "recovery". In that seven months I've been sick twice. Once at the start (i.e. when the seven months began) and once when I was incredibly drunk and fell into an old habit. I've still experienced panic attacks, I've… Continue reading Avoiding Self-Sabotage

Sunny Days

A Reminder to Write

I need to write more. I tell myself this all the time and yet I'm always getting caught up in work, socialising or just other hobbies that I lately haven't written for months. I reminded myself this weekend how much I enjoy writing on this blog, both therapeutically and generally and I want to commit… Continue reading A Reminder to Write

A Touch of Rain

The Almost-2-Months Stage

I haven't been keeping track as much lately but I think that I've been sick 6 times in five months and I can say for certain I'm 7 weeks and 4 days since my last purge. You'll all know that recovery isn't about the sole symptom people think you're recovering from. That it's a mixture of emotions and… Continue reading The Almost-2-Months Stage