A Touch of Rain

The Recovery Body

I think I am in "recovery". After suffering from bulimia with anorexic behaviours I now find myself 18 months purge-free. During those 18 months I found myself becoming less and less scared of the fear foods and I started to deal with triggering situations better every time. I found myself re-educating a love for myself… Continue reading The Recovery Body

A Touch of Rain

Out of sync

I decided to stay in Cape Verde for the week instead of going home early. I wrote a nice big list of pros and cons (don't we love those) for staying or going home and, ultimately, I realised I wouldn't necessarily be much happier at home and I'd still be doing very little so if… Continue reading Out of sync

A Touch of Rain

Welcome Home 

I've had this blank page staring back at me the past few days. Want to write, know that I do, but about what? I don't know. I just don't know. My head is spinning with a thousand questions, so much so I won't allow myself to even take a step back and appreciate how well… Continue reading Welcome Home 

A Touch of Rain

‘Time Heals’, That’s a lie.

Right now I am a mixture of very happy and very sad and I’m trying so very hard to figure it all out. I’m trying to figure out all these feelings and emotions and words and thoughts and I can’t work out what they all mean. Everything I feel lately seems to be a contradiction… Continue reading ‘Time Heals’, That’s a lie.

Sunny Days, Uncategorized

A Beautiful Paradox

  She was broken but never hopeless. Alone but never lonely. Her eyes reflected pain but projected courage. She was a beautiful paradox I really like that quote and feel like I can massively relate to it. It always feels weird to have people say things to me like, 'I love how confident you are, you… Continue reading A Beautiful Paradox

Thunder and Lightning

Brain = 1, Heart = 0

I should have listened to my brain instead of following my heart. It was right, it's always right. I'll be okay, deep down I knew it was coming and I know it was right. My brain knows but my heart aches. It was a nice visit nonetheless and being friendly is fine with me and… Continue reading Brain = 1, Heart = 0

A Touch of Rain

Working It Out

Today's been a bad day but on the same hand one of my better ones. It's so contradictory, I know but I'm pleased with where I am right now in this very moment. As usual my day started off with the standard family stress but today I couldn't take it anymore. I'm in the middle… Continue reading Working It Out

Thunder and Lightning

Heartache, Heartbreak

I just feel so lonely, struggling to pick myself up. These past two months have been hell and I've never had to cope with so many different yet equally hard situations. And its as if there isn't anyone there. I feel like I'm struggling to get through this and I don't know how to make… Continue reading Heartache, Heartbreak

A Touch of Rain

Letting go

I admit I've made some massive mistakes the past 7 days but I know I wasn't fully to blame. I'm ready to let it all go. I'm ready to make sure I am never that person who got into such a vulnerable position ever again. Hating myself won't work. Only when I love myself truly… Continue reading Letting go

Thunder and Lightning

Stillness

Standing still but my mind won't stop spinning. I don't want to hurt like this and I don't know what's going to make it stop. I can't decide which path to take and I know I'm hurting him. I can't hurt him. I don't want to break his heart and its breaking mine. I need… Continue reading Stillness