A Touch of Rain

Little Wins

I deliberately stayed away from writing during December even though I had plenty to write about. There was so much I wanted to say, so many emotions I wanted to get out onto paper but I always find I retreat in December. I shy away from so much because there's so much going on. December is already… Continue reading Little Wins

A Touch of Rain

It’s Okay

Girls Night Out had been planned for at least 2 months and, now that I think about it, I was the one who had initiated the plans in the first place. We were to go out on the Friday but as soon as the preceding Monday arrived I was filled with guilt and nerves. I was… Continue reading It’s Okay

A Touch of Rain

Number Crunching

I did that thing I wasn't supposed to do. I did it even though I knew it wasn't going to do me any good. I stepped on the scales and that pain I knew would arrive came rushing, burning through every part of my body. I stood there, simply hurting. 8 weeks into recovery and… Continue reading Number Crunching

A Touch of Rain

Welcome Home 

I've had this blank page staring back at me the past few days. Want to write, know that I do, but about what? I don't know. I just don't know. My head is spinning with a thousand questions, so much so I won't allow myself to even take a step back and appreciate how well… Continue reading Welcome Home 

Sunny Days

A Beautiful Ticker

The thing with broken clocks is that you can tell exactly when they stopped ticking. With people it isn't so easy. Sometimes you can't even tell they're broken. I wouldn't necessarily say it's broken but it's definitely been hurt. It's been picked up and carelessly shattered into pieces a few times but it's still there. It's still ticking, beating… Continue reading A Beautiful Ticker

Thunder and Lightning

Raw

Hands tense, gripping what they can. Trying to stand tall but everything is crumbling. Heavier weights to try numb the even heavier pain. But it's falling away. It's being ripped away. It hurts. Oh it god damn hurts. The pounding starts. The voices come running. Whispers turn into screams. Walls back up but still spiralling downwards.… Continue reading Raw

A Touch of Rain

And Breathe…

Take a step outside and shut your eyes. Feel that breeze in the air, take one big breath in and hold. Keep holding. And breathe. Let it all out. Let the stress leave and the pain subside. It's okay to crumble. It's okay to slip up under the pressure. It's okay to fall. But breathe. Just… Continue reading And Breathe…

A Touch of Rain, Thunder and Lightning

Wise Words

Words are powerful. They can crush a heart or heal it. They can shame a soul or liberate it. They can shatter dreams or energise them. They can obstruct connection or invite it. They can create defences or melt them. We have to use words wisely.  My motivation to write can come from a variety of sources… Continue reading Wise Words

A Touch of Rain

Parenting the Parents

  16 hours. 960 minutes. 57600 seconds is all it took for him to fuck up. Yet again. As always. Once more the man messed up. His actions have hurt me more than ever before. I hate how much he's hurt my entire family. I resent the pressure I have had to cope with to hold… Continue reading Parenting the Parents

A Touch of Rain

Tis The Season

  It feels like I have this lump stuck in my throat. I've just gotten back from lunch with a friend and admittedly that's all I've eaten today. I'm trying hard to keep the panic at bay but I'm really struggling. The fact my meal was healthy doesn't matter, my brain doesn't see it that… Continue reading Tis The Season