Thunder and Lightning

Heartache, Heartbreak

I just feel so lonely, struggling to pick myself up. These past two months have been hell and I've never had to cope with so many different yet equally hard situations. And its as if there isn't anyone there. I feel like I'm struggling to get through this and I don't know how to make… Continue reading Heartache, Heartbreak

A Touch of Rain

Letting go

I admit I've made some massive mistakes the past 7 days but I know I wasn't fully to blame. I'm ready to let it all go. I'm ready to make sure I am never that person who got into such a vulnerable position ever again. Hating myself won't work. Only when I love myself truly… Continue reading Letting go

Thunder and Lightning

Stillness

Standing still but my mind won't stop spinning. I don't want to hurt like this and I don't know what's going to make it stop. I can't decide which path to take and I know I'm hurting him. I can't hurt him. I don't want to break his heart and its breaking mine. I need… Continue reading Stillness

A Touch of Rain

Be mine

I feel terrible saying this because of what happened last week. I tried to talk about it but it was still too raw, and he felt I was justifying what happened. I do understand that. But I want to go out. I want my boyfriend to come with me. To be proud to come out… Continue reading Be mine

Thunder and Lightning

Not Okay

I've been telling everyone that I'm fine but I'm not...don't want to add to their troubles, I don't want to give them anything else to worry about when they've got so much else on their minds. I've relapsed so badly the past fortnight and it's been so bad and I don't want to tell anyone… Continue reading Not Okay

Thunder and Lightning

Raw

They wanted to weigh me and I hadn't anticipated that. They sat me down and oh so casually said they needed my weight I haven't seen my weight for more than two months and the instant panic made it impossible to speak, I could have told them I didn't want to see it, or that… Continue reading Raw

Thunder and Lightning

Whats another crack when you’re already broken?

I've never felt so weak, so confused, so unhappy, so broken. I've never been this down. I've never felt as if I have absolutely nothing left until now. When I relapsed in January I was convinced with the help of my friends I'd get better but now we're almost at the end of May and… Continue reading Whats another crack when you’re already broken?

Sunny Days

The Ex-Almost

It wasn't really anything. You couldn't truly call it something. It didn't amount to much. Neither of them did. He was never realistically going to be your boyfriend. You weren't truly dating. It didn't amount to a fling. But I still felt something. I still fell for that guy the guy that was never going to be.… Continue reading The Ex-Almost

Thunder and Lightning

‘That Girl’

I am the girl with a list of things wrong with her as long as her name. Ask anyone who knows me and they will confirm that I am that girl. If I had a pound for every time I heard the phrase, 'it could only happen to you', well, let's just say I wouldn't be… Continue reading ‘That Girl’