I've had a relapse of sorts and it's taken me nearly 8 months to realise. That doesn't necessarily mean I've been in a constant full blown relapse that entire time but the warning signs were creeping back and I was simply choosing to ignore them. In June last year, 3 months into the pandemic, I… Continue reading A state of relapse
2 weeks into the New Year and I'm pretty sure I don't like resolutions that much. Well the crap ones anyway... For years I've hated that the most popular New Years resolution is usually along the lines of having something to do with losing weight. As a child and young adult I always felt the… Continue reading New Year bullshit…but a really nice Christmas
Pecan pie - a dish I have had like probably two or three times in my life tops. Not even kidding. Funny how those two or three times I've absolutely LOVED it and yet never had it more than that. To be honest, I don't think I've actually had the opportunity to have it that… Continue reading Pecan Pie
Two weeks ago I had the privilege of speaking to a team of female swimmers in the US about my experience with bulimia as an elite athlete. Five weeks ago I wouldn't have even thought that was a possibility. When the captain reached out to me on Instagram, I didn't see the message for a… Continue reading Challenging the self stigma
I'm having a weekend full of weird and unexpected highs and lows. I had planned to write a different post this weekend (about an opportunity I had to speak about my ED to a swimming team) but that's had to be postponed to allow me to process some triggers I've come across the past 48… Continue reading Unexpected triggers
Society taught me that comfort eating was bad. That I should be ashamed of any times I comfort ate in my life. Ironically, that "shaming" led to me comfort eating even more. Indeed, societal norms can cause us to find ourselves in a deadly cycle - I was shamed for being chubby - I comfort… Continue reading The benefits of comfort eating
It's been a long on-and-off-and-on-again-then-off-again 18 months. I used to write on my blog, Umbrella Adventures, so regularly in the turmoil of my bulimia and it helped me so much over the years. Getting all my emotions out, no matter how metaphorical and poetic my posts were, helped me understand, process and recover from my… Continue reading Out with the old – farewell Umbrella Adventures
Peanut butter time = the best time. Can you even believe that I used to hate peanut butter? Little Len missed out on so many tasty treats *sad face*. This recipe is one of my favourite cookie recipes EVER! It's from the Hummingbird Bakery's Cookbook and it really is fantastic. I pretty much adore all… Continue reading Peanut Butter Cookies
I don't know when my mind changed. I can tell you the day I decided to reach out but I can't pin point when that switch was turned on in my head. I have written about my family problems before but I feel I need to recap for myself. I am 28. My dad started… Continue reading Building a bridge
I think I am in "recovery". After suffering from bulimia with anorexic behaviours I now find myself 18 months purge-free. During those 18 months I found myself becoming less and less scared of the fear foods and I started to deal with triggering situations better every time. I found myself re-educating a love for myself… Continue reading The Recovery Body
